Category Archives: love

My family

Who’s Got Your Back? “We All Need Somebody To Lean On!”

health, healthy lifestyle, love, support, wellness, , ,

I was talking to my mom recently and during our conversation she mentioned how much she appreciated us [her children] calling and checking on her regularly. My dad passed away over three years ago, and while we all miss him, I’m sure she misses him most.

During this pandemic it has been especially tough on many of us, because of the isolation and sheltering in place. Many of the activities we have enjoyed in person have been curtailed or altered. I had been avoiding going to visit my mother because I didn’t want to put her or myself at risk if we carried the COVID-19 virus. HOWEVER, when my nephew called and told me mama was having some health challenges [not COVID related], I got on the road with a quickness to see about her! I knew that if she needed to be admitted for her ailment, that I would be the one that should stay with her. Fortunately, she did not have to be hospitalized. I decided (yes, I pulled rank on my mama) and told her she was coming back to my house with me for a little while. Actually, I asked her if she would like to come and spend some time with me and my family for a bit. She agreed and stayed with me for a week. I told her she could stay as long as she wanted, but after a week she was ready to go back to her own space and check on her home.

My mom would have done the same for me. When I became ill last year with autoimmune disorders [Check out the story in my book: Overcoming Autoimmunity-One Physician’s Step by Step Journey to Victory Over Her Chronic Illnesses] my mother, who doesn’t drive on the interstate, found a ride to my home [about 4 hours drive from hers] and showed up at my door with her suitcase packed in case she needed to stay and take care of me! (The picture above captures a moment of support when my family surprised me by showing up at my first speaking engagement after I was diagnosed with autoimmune disorders.)

I’m reminded of the song, Lean on Me” by Bill Withers. The lyrics read:

“Sometimes in our lives we all have pain. We all have sorrow, But if we are wise we know that there’s always tomorrow. Lean on me, when you’re not strong. And I’ll be your friend. I’ll help you carry on. For it won’t be long ’til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride if I have things you need to borrow. For no one can fill those of your needs that you won’t let show.

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand. We all need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you’ll understand. We all need somebody to lean on.“

I’m so grateful for my family and others who allow me to lean on them when I need support. Who do you lean on when needed and who is able to lean on you? Be sure to let them know how much you appreciate them.

Speaking of support, I’m happy to let you know that I am here to assist you if you are ready to take control of your health to reclaim your energy and get relief from chronic pain. If you have been suffering from pain, inflammation, and fatigue due to autoimmune disorders or other chronic illnesses, let me help you end this last quarter of 2020 feeling great! How am I going to do that?

Honey, I’m glad you asked! My mission with CROWN TO SOLE Wellness is to encourage, empower, and equip women to take control of their health to create lifestyles of abundance, joy, and holistic wellness. I am currently opening space in my calendar for clients who are struggling to take control of their health and are ready to invest the time, money, and energy for private one-on-one coaching to help them reach their goals.

One of the areas we address in my “Jumpstart Your Autoimmune Bounce Back” 90 Day Private Coaching Program is the importance of getting the right help from others in pursuing your wellness goals. I’m always humbled and grateful when I am able to help someone make positive lifestyle changes to become healthy and feel great. Click HERE to learn more and schedule an appointment for a FREE DISCOVERY CALL to determine if and how I can help you!

TRUST IN GOD! My Grief Journey – Part 1

grief, love, trust in God, wellness, , ,

“I woke up this morning with my mind stayed on Jesus -Hallelujah!”

Last year my family hosted an eightieth birthday celebration for my dad. Today he would have been eighty-one years old if he were still alive. It has been six months since daddy died. I wasn’t sure how I would feel today and I imagine that before the day is over I may experience a range of emotions. However, I thank God that I woke up this morning with a sense of peace.

As I thought of daddy I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t feel that deep ache that I sometimes feel, nor did I feel like crying. Instead I enjoyed a calm reflection of gratefulness because I believe my daddy was at a place of peace with his soul and God when he passed. As a family we were at a place of forgiveness, acceptance, peace, and LOVE! That is a blessing which gives me peace and joy. Thank you Lord!

In the coming months I plan to share more relating to my grief journey. (I have a post that I started drafting a couple of months after my dad’s death but just haven’t allowed myself to finish that one just yet…). Today, I just want to encourage you as you move forward along your own personal grief journey. Everyone’s journey is different, so don’t feel as though yours has to be like someone else’s. TRUST IN GOD is one of the most important components of holistic wellness. Trust God with whatever you are experiencing in your life and as you cycle through the stages of grief. The Bible scripture Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I am a living witness that He will give you peace. Feel free to share with me your thoughts relating to your grief journey. Don’t hesitate to download my free CROWN TO SOLE WELLNESS Action Guide to find some simple action steps you can take to help increase your trust in God. (The featured image is of my dad, Dr. Arnett G. Montague, when he was a young adult in his early twenties. Wasn’t he sharp?!!)

What I learned about TRULY living from my sisterfriend who was dying.

breast cancer, health, holistic, love, wellness, ,

The year was 1991 and the event was my husband’s high school 10 year class reunion. My husband introduced me to one of his classmates with whom he used to hang out “back in the day”. Her name – Jacqueline Fleming, (this was prior to her marriage) a.k.a “Jackie”.

Jackie and I connected immediately. When I changed jobs about a year after the reunion my husband and I ended up moving to the same town where Jackie was living and working as a professor at the local university as Dr. Fleming .

She loved music and during those times when she wasn’t going out on dates she would come over to our house where we’d sit around the piano and sing. My girl had no problems giving orders and often she would pick the songs and tell us what to sing. Sometimes she would make my husband get off the piano so she could play, sing, and just be a “star”. Jackie knew I didn’t like to cook so she would sometimes cook and share her meal with us. (Yep! A true friend!)

One of my favorite memories is of when I was pregnant with my first child.  Someone had given me several bags of clothes and items for the baby.  I had put off going through the bags (I’m still working on that procrastination thing) so they were just sitting on the floor in the baby’s room.  Because Jackie was a person who had to have things in order it was probably driving her crazy to see those bags just sitting there.  So, while I and my big belly sat in the rocking chair, she proceeded to take each item out one by one to be put away.  She was just as excited as I was at the treasures we found in those bags.

Through the years we shared many good times and developed a true sisterhood relationship.  My husband and I were there for Jackie’s wedding when she became Mrs.(Dr.) Jacqueline Hampton. Our children became friends who liked to hang out at each other’s homes. I was “Aunt Karla” to her son and she was “Aunt Jackie” to my sons.

Fast forward a few years from the time when we were sorting through bags of baby items to the day that Jackie shared with me that she felt like something was wrong in her body.  She was an advocate for community health education and awareness so she was very conscientious about her own health.  She went to her doctors and was diagnosed with breast cancer.  They treated her with surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. Several months later we rejoiced and praised God when she was declared cancer-free.  It was such a blessing to celebrate her 40th birthday with a big party about a year after her diagnosis.

All seemed to be going well for several years. Jackie was excelling in her career which included several high profile positions such as Meharry Medical College’s  Director of Community Outreach for the Center for AIDS Health Disparities Research, and also HIV prevention capacity building assistance coordinator for Metropolitan Interdenominational Church Technical Assistance; a National Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, HIV Prevention Capacity Building Provider.  She loved what she did and she was good at it.  Jackie was a tenacious force in her field and determined to make a positive difference in the community.

Although the breast cancer was in remission, my sisterfriend was one of those who subsequently developed a rare second type of  cancer which was thought to be related to the radiation treatment which she had received years earlier for the breast cancer.

Jackie met the challenges of fighting this disease with full force and with the same tenacity with which she did everything else.  While I learned many things through the years because of my relationship with her, the last year or two of her life and how she approached it taught me so much more about TRULY living.

While I imagine there was some fear I never saw Jackie “shrink back” or try to ignore what was going on with her body.  She was determined to do whatever she could to live so she could raise her son and be there for her family.  Jackie continued to be the “boss” on her job.  She remained faithful to serving her community. She was a beautiful woman inside and out and made sure she was “put-together” when she went out (even as she became more ill) . Even in the midst of pain, weakness, and medication-induced “brain fog”, Jackie maintained her quick wit and sense of humor. (And she still would give orders!)

One time I visited her in the hospital and in walks her hair stylist (who has a very busy salon). He had come to shampoo her hair and make sure her “do” was right.  I’m smiling now just thinking about that.  Even when it was difficult for her to get around, she managed to make it to her son’s ball games.  She traveled out of town to witness her husband’s military promotion.  Jackie still managed to go to church even though she was in pain.  Sometimes I would go visit her to do what I could to make her comfortable and she would try to make sure the house was in order. (I’m thinking- “GIRL,  You only have THREE dishes in the sink- you should see what MY house looks like and I’m not sick!”).  I chuckle thinking about the time I was doing some natural treatments for her and she proceeds to tell me- “Now, these are my  new good pajamas- I don’t want them messed up!” and “Don’t get that stuff on my couch – I’ll be smelling garlic and onions all day!” When my son graduated from high school she made sure to give him a gift even though she wasn’t able to come to the graduation. Jackie insisted on trying to pay me for doing stuff for her.  That’s just how she was.

A few days before Jackie passed I was visiting her and wasn’t sure if she knew whether I was there or not.  As she lay in the bed with her eyes closed I thought she was sleeping. I started singing a hymn that I knew she liked. When I finished I was surprised to hear her whisper, “Thank you.” A little while later her sister came back in the room and was preparing to put some moisturizer on Jackie’s lips. Jackie was very weak but her independent spirit was still there. Instead of letting her sister put the moisturizer on her lips, Jackie held her finger out as if to say, “I’ll do it MYSELF!” (So, of course her sister let her do it!)

Several days after my last visit with Jackie, she passed away at home surrounded by her family.  This month of October, 2015 will mark four years since we lost Jackie and I think of her often.  Yes, the tears still come and sometimes I’ll chuckle thinking of something Jackie did or said.  Although I hate the fact that she is not here I learned some things from her about truly living even in the midst of challenges and adversity.  Jackie was PRESENT until the very end.  She was an active participant in life even when she was ill, weak, and had to learn to do things differently.  Jackie continued to trust and love God.  She loved herself and continued to do what she could for herself. Finally, she continued to love and serve others. Jackie’s was a life well lived and because she gave of herself her legacy lives on and our society is better because she was here!

What I want to share with you about truly living that I learned from my sisterfriend Jackie is this: Be PRESENT and make the most of the moments that you have; Love God and trust Him no matter what; Love yourself and be good to yourself; Love others and don’t be afraid to show it!  Live, Laugh, and Love! 

(Featured image is of my sisterfriend, Dr. Jacqueline Fleming-Hampton)